F*ck your vacation!

So let's start off by explaining that I am a run of the mill stay at home mom to four little girls (12, 7, and 3 yr old twins).  My biggest adventures in life include things like taking all FOUR kids to the grocery store, the drive thru line at Starbucks or if I am really feeling crazy, taking all Four said children to Play in public, like "GASP" a park! I am a rebel I know. So why is it that when I'm trolling along the great information highways of Facebook and instagram (because I'm not cool enough for vine, twitter, flicker, snap chat and all the other social media sites I have never heard of)  I die a little inside when I see all my friends photos of their amazing, tropical, history rich, breathtakingly expensive vacations? Now don't get me wrong you totally rock and so deserve to be there but man does my idea of a good time suck! I have been trying to plan a inexpensive, well let's call it what it is, CHEAP , getaway for my husband and I for weeks, months even. let's just say the destination pool is a little shallow. I mean come on we have four kids, two dogs and one income not like we can choose the Hamptons or Hawaii.  Sure if we saved for 100 years, fed our kids only top Ramen because damn can they eat and pretty much lived under a rock or possibly in a cardboard box, also presuming one of said children does not break some thing or someone could we maybe go to, maybe, Canada and not somewhere cool like Whistler but some sad little border town that no one has ever heard of. Spend one day then back to the crazy! So as I have been hanging out with my good old friend google searching things like "Places to take your husband", "man vacations", "cheap hotels" I am coming up with a couple problems. First google does not understand that "gentlemen's clubs" are not vacations, well maybe they are for some but not us nor would I be looking to book a "brocation" LOL. The other problem I have is my husband deciding what and where he wants to go do. First it was easy, a trip to a lake not too far from home but far enough away to feel a little freedom. We would fish and hike, enjoy the outdoors which I am all about, but then he says "why don't we stay one night there and then one night somewhere else?" So literally right before I click "book" on this awesome little cabin for 2 days I have to start all over again! Mind you it took us quite a bit agree to go to this place, now I have to start looking again! So first problem I had was the lake requires a two night stay so that ruled that destination out, now since we decided to change this less than two weeks prior to our departure date it felt like everything was booked and the places that weren't he had no interest in going to. Now lets back up a bit, we haven't been on a weekend getaway since our middle daughter who is almost 8 was an infant! Sure occasionally we ship the kids off to my parents house for a night so we can see a movie or have dinner but that barely enough time for the ringing in my ears to stop LOL. So its fair to say I am about as excited as a kid on Christmas morning going to Disneyland riding a unicorn! Then he says it, the phrase I have been terrified of hearing "Well why don't we just stay home and hang out here, we can go fishing and see a movie" NOOOOOOOO!! He just cancelled my Christmas, burned down Disneyland and shot my Unicorn! Sounds silly I know but you have no idea how badly I was looking forward to this getaway. It is what gets me through my days, the one thing I have had to look forward to and that's it? Oh no I am not giving up that easily, so we compromised to go away for one night and that was a stretch on its own. We will still be kidless as planned but all I get is one night away. Some of you might be confused as why is it such a big deal? When we are home it is so easy to get sucked into our normal routine, house work, yard work, etc.... I want to reconnect, to be forced to spend time together, to get out of this rut we are in of  kids, work, cleaning, laundry etc... If you are a parent you understand why, you are so focused on everything but your partner and making time for each other becomes something put on the back burner. You have the best of intentions to do something with each other but lets face it something always comes up. I see everyone's awesome photos and try to imagine us sitting on tropical beach somewhere, exploring the ruins of a forgotten about civilization, fishing in Alaska or about 100 other things that come to mind. But the truth is I kind of feel like I am the only one excited about this trip. Now normally if my husband is going somewhere he is excited about he talks about it all the time, even business trips but I feel like I have to pull the enthusiasm out of him. I tried not to pick a place that is boring or a total chick fest, I pick a lodge like hotel with a kick ass bar and restaurant and a hot tub, who doesn't want to drink and go in a hot tub. Its even harder to find a place when you don't get any input other than "oh", "cool , "yea" , "I don't know" .... So my plan is to do my happy mom dance all day, get everyone packed for their destination and if he is still not into it drink my entire bottle of complementary wine (which is the best in the world, since I have already been to this resort with one of my besties)  and have my own party! So this weekend getaway might not be Aruba, Tahiti, Mt. Everest or Disneyland on Christmas morning riding a unicorn but its two nights without interrupted conversation, no temper tantrums, sibling drama or all the other joys of parenting but its what we have and I have every intention to enjoy the hell out of it!