Blogging; Because its cheaper than therapy

Today I am finished, done, fed up, completely over this thing called motherhood and there's nothing I can do about it. So here I sit annoyed, frustrated, angry secretly wishing my children had some kind of return policy or better yet some sort of "off button". Are my girls bad kids? No actually they are pretty darn good children except for the fact I am sure they are undercover Al-Qaeda operatives sent here with one mission to break me down to a pile of nothing, and today they are close. Lets face the facts there are FOUR of them and one of me and they run like a well oiled machine of terror. Me on the other hand, in my previous life I was a successful career woman who was always looking for the next challenge. Now I am a stay at home mom who is lucky to get a shower every two days, sleeping on the floor of my2 year old twins room, which mind you is an upgrade from the living room floor where I spent a good year and a half sleeping, I'm lucky if I get to eat the crust off someone's sandwich for my only meal of the day and spend my days doing the same chores over and over and over again which I'm pretty sure if the definition of INSANITY! Did I mention I am a broken record? I say the same few phrases "stop... hitting, biting, kicking, punching, etc.... your sister", "because I asked you to", and my favorite "NO". The funny thing is everyday when I wake up there is a glimmer of hope that my girls will behave, listen, do what they are told and that I won't have to yell not once that day, but that never happens. I ask my self frequently "Am I just a bad mom?", "Am I doing something wrong?" honestly I don't know anymore. I do all the things mom are supposed to do, I take my kids to do things, I play with them, I reward them for their accomplishments, blah blah blah, but at the end of the day I am stuck feeling like I totally suck at this mom thing. I just don't get it, people say "oh cherish these years, they are over before you know it" I'm sure that is true but man I am sure trying to enjoy it and well with less than favorable results. I can't be the only person that feels like this, there has got to be other moms that feel like failures, yell at their kids, are treated like a doormat..... Or maybe that is motherhood. You just signed up to be used, abused and thrown out. Who knows, is it worth it? I would like to think so, for those awesome moments you get to witness, IE: first steps, first words, holding your grandchild for the first time and everything in between. Hopefully I'm not as horrible of a mother as I feel I am and I don't totally screw up my kids. Only time will tell, but the only thing time is telling right now is that it must be time for a stiff drink or a one way ticket to the cuckoos nest!