Why going to the grocery store SUCKS!

I am sure that all moms can agree that going to the store ALONE is a close second to a vacation for most of us. I know for me when I get the rare chance to go alone I enjoy every moment of it. I arrive calm, list and coupons in hand and if I am really treating myself a yummy Carmel sauce white chocolate mocha in my other hand. I walk down every isle taking my sweet time to price compare, pick up each thing I find even remotely interesting because lets face it I am stalling! Prior to four kids I would rush through the store grabbing what I wanted and run out of the store, now I might just volunteer to be the door greeter if it gets me more alone time and I don't even want a pay check! LOL. I slowly walk to the check out and make the nice quiet drive home after I carefully have strategically place my groceries in the back of the car. Oh how refreshing it is. Sounds wonderful right? I am sure you are thinking "Ashlee I think you mistitled your post", oh no I have yet to serenade you with the tale of "Shopping with four kids". You might want to grab your popcorn and settle in for a tale that all moms will feel is a snip out of their own lives. This is how it begins.......... It is early in the morning and I realize we have cereal but no milk, peanut butter but no bread and of freaking course I just used the last damn diaper, how did I not catch that 5 diapers ago. So here begins the anxiety... I now grab the Safeway add and try to make a list while my four year old is loudly complaining that she wants cereal, so I say "K bud, I will put some dry cereal in a baggie for you we are out of milk baby and need to go to the store" I brace myself for what I know is coming "NO MOM, I want milk, I HATE dry cereal" this exchange continues until the time we leave, so I just continue with my tasks. I go back to the list and then the babies start screaming because Aubree bit Haylee AGAIN. I think to myself FORGET THE LIST, therefore I forget the coupons and am now rushing around trying to get everyone ready. I get the babies in their seats, KK dressed and Bella is always ready to go and super awesome at helping her siblings. Then its dawns on me, mommy didn't get to shower. I run to my room look in the mirror and gasp at the Night of the living dead version of myself staring back. DAMN IT, I pull my crazy hair back throw on a pair of jeans and a hoddie (my unofficial mom uniform) and its out the door. I some how manage to get everyone in the car and Bella and KK start fighting about who knows what. So being the super awesome mom I am I turn up the music. LOL! After a 10 minute drive we are here, I sit in my car looking at the door like its a house of horrors. After a quick pep talk (you can do it, you always come out alive, get out of the damn car) I spring into action. To the back of the car I go, grabbing out my double stroller, getting the babies in the stroller and telling the big girls they can now exit the van. Now don't let that fact that this may seem like a not so bad start fool you, as we reach the area where they keep the carts the fight between Bella and KK begins "I wanna push the cart, NO I'm going to do it" I tell them to stop fighting and they can take turns, which means I will be pulling it behind me when pushing this HUGE FREAKING STROLLER. We begin our journey by going through the store at almost a jog, not only am I trying to get the hell out as fast as possible before a baby starts crying but I am trying to avoid human contact. That's when it happens the first person stops to comment on my brood, "oh my you have your hands full" says a woman I smile and say something nice in return, I then walk off trying not to make eye contact but that doesn't seem to matter I am stopped by another 5 people who all make a similar comment. I look in my cart and am sad to see I only have the milk and know I have a lot more to get and being stopped half a dozen times has just added 15 minutes to my trip. By this point I am a woman on a mission and one you really don't want to talk to. I grab a couple more things I think I might need and think to myself damn I wish I had that list. Then it happens another freaking person stops me and say "four girls!! Oh your poor husband, oh are they twins?" Now my actual response is so far from the one in my head that goes a little something like this " My poor husband? Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!??? Poor ME I am the one who has to deal with all of them 24/7 and you are going to feel sorry for the person that isn't dragging this circus sideshow through the damn store? and WHAT? No they are not twins they are just one minute apart and look exactly the damn same!" but I do not dare say that instead I continue on my trip through hell with now two screaming babies and two fighting children in tow. I am now sprinting down the isle throwing things in the basket and running to the check out. I am now out of breath, sweating and I am pretty sure my eye is starting to twitch. I am praying the 17 year old kid just hurries up and gets me the hell out of here ASAP. I am free!! With my receipt in hand I make my way to the car and it never fails right in the middle of loading everyone and  everything into the car the person parked next to me comes out and with an annoyed look stares at me as to say "hurry up lady" and I am thinking "SAY IT, JUST SAY IT BUDDY" you'll wish you hadn't (poor innocent bystander, I don't really mean it, that's the mommy stress talking) I shove it all in the car, bags spilling all over the floor, run with the stroller, throw it in the back and slam the door before it can fall out. I am now panting and shaking from the stress and every time I say to my self I HATE THE GROCERY STORE!